Wednesday 27 August 2008

Television vs relationships

There's a problem in the relationship world. Long-lasting, committed, stable relationships are nice to hear about, but they don't make good TV. So everyone on TV has screwed up relationships. It's more interesting to watch, and it's much easier to write. So most of the examples to which we are exposed are broken homes, problem marriages, dysfunctional families and promiscuous singles. We don't get good examples, so we don't produce good behaviour. We are more familiar with train wreck relationships, so that's all we know how to have for ourselves. The cycle continues as these people grow up to make bad examples to the next generation, but they get it progressively worse than their parents.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - And, presumably, make worse television than their forbears.
PPS - Or better, depending on your point of view.

3 comments:

Erin Marie said...

I don't know if I necessarily agree.

Dysfunctional examples of relationships on TV point out the dysfunction in our own lives, families, relationships etc. Perhaps TV is contributing to the increasing dysfunction, but I don't think that portrayal of dysfunctional relationships is the main contributor. The portryal of sex, violence, narcissism, glorification of wealth and beauty - those things contribute far more greatly to the disintegration of relationships than the portrayal of those relationships on television.

If anything, relationships on TV hold a mirror up to society, and almost everyone finds themselves saying 'I can relate to that'. Certainly it is exaggerated by TV, but I think that is more of a deliberate attempt to show how ridiculous society has become, than an attempt to show 'reality'.

Case in point - Everybody Loves Raymond vs Seventh Heaven.

People loved Everybody Loves Raymond. Was it realistic? No. Do people like Frank and Marie or Robert exist in real life? Elements of their personality exist in people, but I would be very surprised to find out that there was a large percentage of the population exactly like them.

Was the relationship between Deborah and Raymond realistic? Parts of it were, but it was exaggerated, as it has to be, to get people's attention.

But why did people love it? Because they could identify with the nagging mother in law. They could identify with wanting to go out and play golf when the wife said no.

Did Everybody Loves Raymond contribute to the downfall of family values and relationships in society? I would argue that it didn't. What it did was show people that these things happen to everyone and that no family is perfect.

Seventh Heaven - possibly the most bagged out family show to have been created since The Brady Bunch. The reason - the fact that the majority of the population cannot relate to a family like it. First of all - the Christian values. It's no secret that strict Christian values are not something held high in the values of wider society. Secondly - the relationship between the parents, which seems to have no conflict above 'that upset me' and 'sorry dear'. The five hundred children, or however many they have, all being raised on the minister's salary. People couldn't relate to it.

I should, for the record, point out that many people loved Seventh Heaven too. But I suspect that wasn't because they could relate to it. I suspect it has more to do with the fact that they wanted to dream that having that was possible - that they have been so disillusioned by their own experience, that they want to watch something that gives them hope. Much the same reasons as romantic comedies are so wildly successful. People want to believe that the fantasy is possible.

I know that you're probably not trying to say it, but I would also argue that you can't just blame TV for the decline in family values and increase in dysfunctional relationships - although I agree that it is a huge contributor. But that's a whole 'nother argument.

John said...

Longest comment ever. Longest here, at least.

It's true that television is not solely responsible for the downfall of society and relationships. I don't think I meant to imply that, but sometimes I post half-formed theories here that haven't been thought through. You may have noticed.

Television is more a symptom than the cause. What we prefer to watch reflects who we are as a whole.

Erin Marie said...

Yesterday I had one of those days where if I started down a train of thought I couldn't finish it unless I'd written a three page essay on it.

You may have noticed.

But yes, I agree - what we prefer to watch does reflect who we are.