The First Annual Original Messenger Quotes Retrospective

I archive my instant messenger quotes on another blog, "Proverbial", and this year I thought I'd pick out a few of my favourites from the past twelve months and post them here for your enjoyment, with a little commentary. So here they are:

• "Roses are red, brown if they die, coffee is bitter, and so am I."
  A cheery little heartbreak poem I wrote years ago.


• "I'll name my daughter Orange so nobody can write a lame love poem to her."
  It seems like a solid plan to me.


• "I wish I was a flower with a punk rocker in my hair."
  A misquote of Sandi Thom lyrics. Much more interesting this way.


• "Double shotgun wedding."
  Participation is forced on both sides of the wedding, probably due to a parental conspiracy.


• "Why is Giving 100% better than Doing My Best?"
  Mathematically, they should be equal, so why is one a winner's attitude and the other a whiner's?

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Feel free to go over the list yourself and mention any other quotes you like.
PPS - It did feel a bit arbitrary picking out five winners.